Rainy Day

Kicked off my shoes and went walking in the rain,

Hoping the drops can distract me from the pain.

Try and outrun my demons before I ever learn their name,

But in hindsight they blur and look all the same.

And I’ve seen this happen I’ve felt it happen I fear it always

Turn and see a mirror down these empty hallways,

And I’d rather keep running then make the confrontation,

But when I’m alone I hear the mirror’s presentation.

The image of fear faces me through my own eyes,

And forces me into what I know but won’t realize.

And i question what I do for self defense,

Because whether or not I face my problems I want to face myself less.

And my hearts hidden or on my sleeves,

I’m not sure where it goes cause I’m not sure what it needs.

Fight for anything that’ll grant me some relief,

If only to briefly cover up what I don’t want to see.

And I’ve seen this happen I’ve felt it happen I fear it always,

Turn and see a mirror down the empty hallways.

I examine myself, try and learn what plagues me,

When the mirror says aloud “Why do you hate me?”

I jump back but try and answer the question,

But the words won’t come together i don’t know what to mention.

I don’t know where to begin or how this began,

This the hardest of the trials of a man.

To face oneself and not have to turn away,

To look at your path and know whether or not you’ve gone astray,

To go about your game and not wish you didn’t have to play,

To think about yourself without feeling like a rainy day.

And I’ve seen this happen I’ve felt it happen I fear it always,

Turn and see a mirror at the end of empty hallways.

Try to run faster feel I have to escape,

The one decision I can always trust myself to make,

To turn and hide rather than once face myself.

And honestly I can’t picture a worse type of hell,

Because when I try and ask the mirror for answers,

The reflection warps distorts and sure,

Enough I’m staring at what can’t be me.

Face to face with something from out of my worst dreams,

But when I keep looking I realize it didn’t change,

But I begin to see what I think when I say my own name.

And no matter how hard I try I can’t change it,

Can’t see myself without feeling estranged and,

Enraged like I’m deranged,

Thinking the type of thoughts that drive me insane.

And I turn to the mirror and I scream for it to go away,

Look inside myself from outside and cry fuck a rainy day

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Rainy Day

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